Well, we've done something and I am worried that we have made some sort of major parenting mess up.
Last year Samantha played basketball. She was really good and she enjoyed it but, she cried at the beginning of every single practice and game and had to be dragged out on to the court. But by the end of the practice or game she would be perfectly fine and having a great time.
So, this year when she said she wanted to play basketball again we were totally surprised. We must have said, "are you sure?!?" a thousand times before we signed her up. Each time she said she was sure that yes, she wanted to play basketball. We explained that once she signed up that she would be part of the team and she could not change her mind. She said she was sure.
She has had 3 practices that have all been the same as last year. She cried had the coach had to drag her out onto the court.
So, John and I decided that if it is that terrible for her that she could quit. We had a really long talk about how you finish what you start and all that. She explained to us that she is so worried that she is going to make a mistake and everyone is going to laugh at her. This has never happened to her but for some reason she is fraught with worry that it's going to happen.
It's not just basketball either, it's pretty much everything that she is unfamiliar with. And, it makes me terribly sad because I don't want her to feel icky and I don't want her to be afraid to try something she might enjoy because she is too scared.
So, we told her she could quit but that she would have to pay us back the $75* sign up fee and that she would need to find another activity. The activity doesn't need to be a live long passion but I want her to do something.
After some thought she decided that she wants to learn to crochet and she wants to take up hiking.
I am pleased with her decisions as far as the new activities go. We decided that we are more the kind of people who like to watch the sports rather than play them and that is ok. I am just so worried (like mother, like daughter) that we have done some sort of damage by letting her quit.
*Note: paying back the money sounds harsh but not for Samantha. She could fund a small army with the money she has squirreled away.