Susie volunteers at a half way house for ex-cons so every Monday she comes in with some pretty good stories from her weekend counseling sessions. This morning she told us about one guy who got up in the middle of the session, excused himself from the group and went into another room. It was across the hall from the room where Susie and the others were and it was completely dark. Susie kept glancing over to see what he was doing and well, she discovered that he was, um, jacking off. She was horrified and pretended she didn't notice he'd left. So, this afternoon when I came home from work I sat down to tell John all about Susie's friend. He sits down and I notice this huge smudge of something all over his shorts between his legs. Now I am horrified and bust out laughing. Turns out it was ice cream from Dairy Queen earlier but I couldn't stop laughing considering what story I was about to tell him.